What’s up with me being so down?
By now we know about the bad joke that my moods and emotions are. Hell, I even joke about it most of the time. But over the past few weeks, it’s gotten a lot worse. I’ve been feeling very down and I can’t seem to get any of the bad thoughts that I have in my head to go away. This has caused me to feel weird and to not really want to go out. I stay at home with my wife and my dogs and just kind of exist. I don’t really live. I just sit there and stare vacantly at a computer screen. Sometimes I read. Other times I don’t.
This all came to a head for me a few days ago (Monday, to be precise). I was having a particularly bad day both at work and in my own head when on the way to Franklin everything came crashing down around me.
Fuck Asheville and Fuck Social Media (a paranoid screed about Tedx, Jen Saylor and marketing)
If you happen to belong to Facebook or twitter like I do, you’ve probably heard every bottom feeding member of the social media plankton going on and on about Tedx Asheville, which happened tonight in town.
For those of you not familiar with the Tedx phenomenon, let me explain it to you. Imagine a group of maladjusted computer nerds attempting to place their enthusiasm for technology attempting to mingle with a bunch of idiotic hipsters and star fuckers while talking about saving the world (without actually doing anything about it). That is Tedx Asheville.
The entire thing has made me realize how much I hate what Asheville has become, social media and new moneyed cokeheads all over Western North Carolina.
The Photogenic Pup
Here’s Samson. He is now about 14 weeks old. He’s a handsome man. He is starting to learn little things like how to ask to go outside, fetching a stick and (as the picture above might tell you) doing a bit more swimming.
He’s turning into a good dog. Not as good as Chili, but he’s learning.
Jason Bugg: Bad Ass
I’m not a tough guy. I’ve done things in past that might make people think that I’m some sort of tough dude, like getting in fights, working as a bouncer at a bar or two in Asheville and even talking smack to strangers, but I never considered myself the tough guy. I was the little yappy puppy that ran along with the gigantic and tough dog.
That is until Friday night.
Lou Barlow!
Over at Fuzztone, I muse about Lou Barlow for a bit. Go check it out, or read an interview with him here.
A Guy Thing
I like stuff. I like things. I like rock and roll, soul music, guitars played through amplifiers (and sometimes acoustic ones), comic books, bad movies, Sylvester Stallone, and even professional wrestling. I really like professional wrestling, and my wife tolerates this.
We usually watch wrestling on television- well, I watch it and she kind of reads or does something else while making snide remarks about whatever is happening on the television. I can’t help it; as I’ve explained before, wrestling is something that I’ve liked since I was a kid and I don’t think that I’ll ever not like it.
In fact, trying to put into words and justify to the rest of you fucking highbrow assholes that don’t like wrestling makes me incredibly self-conscious about something that I love, and I don’t like that. I know it’s weird to be (almost!) thirty-three years-old and to like something like wrestling, but I can’t help it. It’s been a life-long thing and I’m not going to defend it anymore. Fuck you.
But back to my point: I love and watch professional wrestling and Jessica kind of gets it- until this week, that is.
Working on the site, dude
I’m sick as a dog, and don’t really feel like updating.
But, I just wanted to put a call out to all of my web friends and ask if any of them would be keen on helping me find a cool wordpress layout. My blog is hoping to go under a really big redesign this fall.
Any help would be grand.
I recieved this email the other day…
Jason –
President Obama turns 49 next week, and OFA supporters across the country are sharing in the fun.
Volunteers on the ground are holding birthday parties — and we’ll use the occasion to recruit new folks to join this grassroots movement that has helped President Obama so much throughout his first year and a half in office.
Here’s what we’re doing in Asheville:
Where: 951 Old Fairview Rd
Asheville, NC 28803
When: Wednesday, August 4th
5:30 pm
Can you make it?
No, but I’d like to sign a birthday card for the President.
No, but I want to see if there are other events near me.
No experience is necessary, and talking to potential volunteers is a fun way to spend some time.
Each volunteer we recruit will help get more first-time 2008 voters back to the polls in November — the centerpiece of our Vote 2010 plan. And with so much more on our agenda, and tight races from Florida to Alaska, we don’t have a moment to lose.
RSVP for the President’s birthday event in Asheville:
http://my.barackobama.com/BirthdayEvents
Thanks,
Jeremy
Jeremy Bird
Deputy Director
Organizing for America
Remember when every Democrat was frothing at the mouth about people “supporting our President on everything he does” when it was Bush? At least they weren’t throwing birthday parties for the moron.
Quick Question
First, read this.
Now can someone tell me when this country went from being subtly racist (as in you can’t order a pizza in housing projects and maybe black people can’t get a cab at night) to full on “fuck Mexican babies!”?
Seriously.
If you are a Republican, or even remotely agree with this nonsense, please shoot yourself. I’ll wait.
Lord I’m Discouraged.
Lord[1] I’m discouraged. I’m depressed. I’m down in the dumps, gloomy, under the weather and over it already. I’m all of these things. The problem is that things are going great for me.
Don’t get me wrong- life is pretty darn swell, which makes me being depressed all the more strange. I have a beautiful wife, a pretty sweet job, and great friends. But I still can’t shake this almost existential dread that I’m feeling. There’s nothing tangible to it. I have no bank loan breathing down my next, no friends who are suffering and I don’t have to watch a close relative suffer the indignity of slowly dying in a nursing home. Instead I’m feeling this rock in my stomach and lump in my throat over something else- over the way things are.
That’s pretty heady stuff, huh? The way things are.
I’m almost thirty-three and that means that I’m chronically in danger of what idealism I have being torn away from me like it’s a baby being ripped from my teen-mother hands by the Tennessee Children’s Home Society (look it up, I’m to lazy to provide a link for my obscure and overly obtuse reference). I see the world and this country that I live in and share with other people and I feel like nothing good can come from me being locked on this mortal plane with such disgusting people. I see the most horrible and vile racism, greed and ignorance being passed off as the norm and it just makes me sick. I see people and institutions that I placed so much faith in giving up and selling out their principles and ideals for the sake of maintaining a status quo that seeks to destroy everyone but the ruling class. It used to make me sick, but instead now it just makes me sad.
Not sad enough to do anything about it, mind you. Not yet- and that’s when I get even more depressed.
I realize for a moment that there is a chance that I could come across as a raving lunatic, writing his manifesto before committing some woefully sad and anticlimactic act of revenge against the outside world that is such poison, but I doubt that I would ever do that. I’m too much of a pacifist to actually hurt someone. So if this long rambling starts to feel like the words of a borderline psychopath readying himself to climb a clock tower and starting to pick off pregnant women, fear not. I find that I wield a keyboard and Microsoft Word far better than I could a high-powered sniper rifle, and my home office is far more comfortable than a clock tower.
But just because I’m not filled with homicidal rage doesn’t mean that I can’t write a long-winded screed about how these unknown forces are troubling me, so here goes.
