I go Gaga over Black Jesus

I live a quiet life that is made easier by turning the radio off. Occasionally something of merit will bubble up from the mainstream and force me to listen to it, and more often than not I find it interesting. The latest thing I’ve heard is Lady Gaga.

From what I gathered before I actually heard Lady Gaga was that she was a wacky singer who hung out with wonderfully gay men, dressed in outfits that made for silly looking pictures and did it all in the name of “art” or “shocking people” or something. I heard the Madonna comparisons, and read the interviews in Rolling Stone.  But nothing prepared me for the veritable shit sandwich that I ingested once I finally heard the Lady who is Gaga.

Don’t get me wrong here: I’m not a Madonna fan. In fact, I think she has always fucking sucked and came across as less a singer and more of a slightly more talented proto-Kim Kardashian minus the looks. Madonna exists to shock and titillate those around us who don’t have to courage to find actual shocking and titillating things.  So if Lady Gaga is deliberately lifting from this no-talent hack, imagine how untalented she seems to me.

The song I heard (“Alejandro”) was entirely forgettable and rather dumb, but much like Madonna, Lady Gaga seems to let the “controversial video” tail wag the “shitty song” dog. The video isn’t shocking at all- it features gay guys writhing around a rather ugly nun (who is portrayed by Lady Gaga). It was then that I realized how truly worthless she is: Madonna out-shocked Gaga 20 years before with the “Like a Prayer” video.

Remember that video and the shitstorm that followed? Madonna fucked Black Jesus! People were freaking out. She lost a Pepsi ad because or it. She wasn’t a nun coyly arousing a group of soccer players; she was a runaway fugitive getting nailed by the Negro from Nazereth. That shit was hot.

If anything, I think this shows us not the shittiness of Lady Gaga, but how far to the right this country has swung. We’re scared. We no longer push boundaries. Instead, it’s just comical horseshit that I’m tired of. We have a black President; couldn’t we instead get Lady Gaga to fuck a Puerto Rican Buddha or something? Draw a friggin’ cartoon of Muhammad and then pee on it?  We shock too easy and Lady Gaga tries to hard.

While doing some research for this post I found an entry on another blog that summed up Lady Gaga’s desperate attempts to be controversial much more succinctly than I ever could:

“Lady Gaga performed on the Today Show this morning as part of the Toyota concert series, because nothing says shocking nonconformist like performing on the Today Show in between commercials where Toyota apologizes for their brakes not working and killing a bunch of people.”

Remember kids, if something made, manufactured and produced by a multi billion dollar company shocks or arouses you it’s a surefire sign that you suck and should do something productive with your life.