The Five Letter Four Letter Word

Over the years and throughout the various incarnations of The (bugg) Blog I’ve used this space as a way to make new resolutions, pronouncements, announcements, commencements, speeches, declarations and benedictions about my writing. I’ve used this space as a warm up for writing and a space holder for more writing to come. But something I read the other day changed the way I think about this place.

I don’t know where I was on the vast and uncharted interwebs, but I read a professional writer’s advice sheet to wannabe writers and her edict at the top of the page rang out like a bell in my brain:

Writers write. They don’t blog, they just write. They can’t not write. Writers write.

Something about that sentence grabbed me and made me think.  Not writing is the one sort of writing I’ve been doing well for a while. It’s almost like I’m out of practice. I’m winded just writing this much, but I’m making myself write more. I have to get back on that horse again (for lack of a better cliché).

I don’t know what it is about me, but sometimes I get discouraged by this strange and abstract world that happens in my brain and encouraged by the rather banal side of me that enjoys the thoughtlessness and easy money of my shitty retail job.  Maybe it’s the certainty of working a set schedule and knowing how much money I’m getting paid versus the chaos and financial desperation of freelance writing. Maybe it’s the florescent lighting or the mall traffic. Maybe it’s not being in Sylva. Maybe it’s seeing hot high school girls. Maybe it’s not seeing everyone dressed head to toe in Real Tree like they do here in Sylva.

Whatever it is, it is distracting me from what I do. I write. I am a writer. At least, I hope I am.  I don’t know what the future holds for me. I don’t know if I can make it doing what I want to do in this world. But goddamnit if I am not going to die trying.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to write. That’s what I do. I don’t blog.